shrinking tumors

God,
We'll know more about Ashley's tumors tomorrow. How big, how many, where they are. I wish we didn't have to find out. I wish we could continue to pray and trust and simply wait this out until they were all gone. But of course the doctors need some clinical answers. They want to know if the chemo helped. They are probably already asking themselves "what's next?" and perhaps looking at experimental options.

God, I hold on to hope with all my heart and pray for good news. For the best news. My students at A&T often scold me for even discussing the possibility that something might go wrong. They say my mouth is going to condemn me. It's a mix of superstition and denial and sometimes, true fear. We can't mention the worse possible outcome, or even think about it, even when things look grim. We have to "claim" the victory. Yet even in this claiming the victory, each one of us knows that there will be suffering, but that somehow anticipating it and making plans for it will not help us. It's as valuable a coping mechanism for an oppressed people as I've ever experienced. And it helps me. I claim the best and then also claim that your grace is sufficient, no matter what.

God, I claim it all for Ashley. I claim shrinking tumors and miraculous healing and health. Restore her, God Almighty. Heal her that she might continue to love Sunny and us, and life and to work for justice. Heal her that she may continue to experience joy and laughter. I suspect there is joy and laughter on the other side, God, but we ask that we can have Ashley with us for a long time. It's a selfish prayer, but you are a generous God.
As we each pray in our own way, knowing that you listen to all of creation by whatever name we call you, I ask for healing in the name of Jesus. Jesus, who had compassion and went around unable to resist healing the sick and dying. Even unclean old women and lepers. In Jesus' name I pray for my friend Ashley. Amen.