Dear God,
It's been a difficult weekend, with ups and downs and feelings of desolation creeping in and paralyzing me. It's so easy to stop listening and plough ahead with what "ought to be done" that we loose the opportunity to be mindful, to be joyful, to be attuned to those around us.

On Saturday I watched Ashley change light bulbs while Sunny and I stood below ready to catch her. She refused our help. We annoyed her. She felt good and wanted to feel useful and do the work that needed to be done. I don't know how many times I heard her say "I'm perfectly capable of..." And she is. But then her arm hurts, and she asks "I wonder why it's hurting?" And I want to yell "because you have a damn plastic tube in there and you are moving it around like it was nothing!" I should have yelled that. I should have said exactly that. Jesus didn't mince words. And I can hear your rebukes when I behave stupidly. So I missed that chance to be honest and helpful and perhaps spare my friend some pain. Then I missed the chance to leave when my job was done, even though I could sense it was the right thing to do. God, help me not to hover. And help Sunny to be able to ask me for what she needs. To be as brutally honest with me as she is with Al and Ashley. To say, "Maria, I need my mom for myself right now, can you help me?" God, that's so much to ask of a little girl/almost adolescent/young woman who is about to turn 12. But you have given her so much character and strength. Help her learn to trust that we won't get our feelings hurt and turn away. Help her to have enough faith and trust in me and other friends to be herself and articulate her needs and feelings.

Thank you, God, for two beautiful days of sunshine. Help Ashley soak the warmth and joy of these days. Thank you for the helpful books and teachings that lift her spirits. Heal her in body and spirit today. Amen