I had no idea that there were people still following this blog, but this week I've heard from a few who are worried about the silence. I don't have an excuse. When our dog Reilley died the first week of December, I was really thrown for a loop. That was followed by a very bad cold that had me in bed for almost a week, and then Sofia came down with mononucleosis, which was not diagnosed for a couple of awful weeks in which I thought our family was falling apart. When things get bad, I usually rant at God. I whine and cry and call Ashley, which I did during this time. She was there for me, even helping with Reilley's funeral. I found myself unable to write down my disjointed thoughts and pain. I read and read books about beloved pets and poetry and prayers, but I had nothing to contribute.
I'm now starting to feel a little better, but I cannot help feeling helpless. In the face of Ashley's struggle with chemo, with tumors that grow, with low platelets and horrible blood counts, I can only stand by and fix guacamole. Why can't all the geniuses that can figure out how to get a spaceship to mars figure out how to cure Ashley's cancer? Where is the help we need?
God, please listen to us. To those of us who pray, chant, meditate and cry with Ashley. Heal her in body and spirit. We each pray in the name by which we know you, as I pray in Jesus' name. Amen
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